A Post Originally Written For Instagram Towards The Start Of My Recovery:
During my illness with an eating disorder, symptoms have crept into all aspects of my life… fear of eating and weight gain as the big one but this translates into many smaller weird behaviours and ‘rules’.
Sitting and enjoying a creamy strawberry frostino in Costa is a means to overriding a few of these illness generated life rules and a start to brain rewiring!
Here are three ways this is helping:
– Liquid calories are always terrifying to me and so consuming something my brain deems an indulgent drink is a way to teach it that a drink is just a drink… calories are irrelevant and this one is bloody yummy!
– Spending money on anything has been so much harder since I developed anorexia and spending £3 on one drink is a real challenge! However I need to show my brain that spending money is ok and there is no point being the richest person in the graveyard…. plus in recovery spending like this is an investment in being able to have a meaningful future!
– Sitting down at a time of day my eating disordered rules are not happy about! Actually sitting in a coffee shop and not constantly moving for the sake of moving is another challenge but to overcome lower level movement compulsions I need to sit and rest my poor body as much as I can and learn the world won’t end if I do!