A Post Originally Written For Instagram Towards The Start Of My Recovery:
An eating disorder can rob you of the most basic pleasures in life that so many mindlessly take for granted.
Just being able to sit by the sea and enjoy an ice cream when I was deep in the eating disorder meant calculating where it fit into the rest of my eats that day, was it too much (no such thing!!), can I spend money on it? Shouldn’t I walk while eating it and not sit….?
On and on with the thoughts and calculations that become very quickly exhausting and overwhelming to the point it was easier not to have the ice cream and stay in the falsely safe feeling Eating Disorder bubble of existence.
Now though I am determined to take life back.
Recovery means eating ice cream 10 times a day if I want to (or more) and ignoring the disordered protests.
I am working on what I want life to be and living that now.
It’s not at all easy but this illness has robbed over a decade of simple pleasures from me such as ice cream eating by the sea and I can’t afford to let it take more.
Life is too short!