A Post Originally Written For Instagram Towards The Start Of My Recovery:
The weight gain process in recovery from an eating disorder can be uncomfortable and cause such a range of emotions and thoughts.
I’m starting to notice physical changes as a result of recovery actions and learning to sit with what that brings up within me.
For me, I never intended to lose much weight when anorexia started and I always hated being a low weight and felt self conscious in an underweight body.
Yet…. still the gaining of weight can cause more anxiety or distress on one level but also joy, celebration and a feeling of empowerment at starting to win over the illness!
Of course as the gains begin physically, the old eating disordered mind games also start up screaming at me not to push further in terms of eating more and resting more as I’m gaining anyway so no need. More eating disordered lies trying to keep me sick.
So today it is celebrating the start of the weight gain and pushing ahead with unrestricted eating and resting to ensure the gains are greater, justified and to really rewire an eating disorder infested brain!