Categories
Anxiety In Recovery Fear Foods Lower Level Movement / Exercise Recovery Rewiring

Small Things Get Easier..

Who knew they made white chocolate Twix?!?
Ok, a lot of people did I’m sure but I hadn’t seen them before and so when I spotted them as I was perusing the snackage options in the supermarket this morning I instantly decided, with very little extra mind games involved that I needed to try them!

Only a few weeks ago buying one of these and eating it with a large cappuccino after a big breakfast and before a challenging lunch would have been a complete red light in my head. 🚦 
Today it felt not only possible but easy.

…and, reflecting on that now makes me sad in a happy way.

Recovery action always felt so difficult to persevere with or get ‘right’ but it was always possible. Food is always possible. …
Turns out the threats of what will happen if I eat a certain thing or amount are groundless and recovery action is not as terrifying or impossible as my ED led me to believe for so long, leaving me too paralysed to take those first steps.

Plus, the more I eat, the easier too the other ED compulsions are slowly feeling, such as the lower level movement I’ve spoken of before.

I’m happy this progress has been possible but I’m sad I’ve wasted time in not pushing myself harder to get well sooner. 
I know I’m such a long way from recovery yet and more dark days lie ahead but I want to recognise these small measures of progress.

I hope if you are also recovering from an ED you can step back from time to time and see your progress as I truly believe ED recovery is the toughest thing you will do in this life.

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