This was a veg, lentil, curry concoction which I had for lunch yesterday.
This meal was fine but on reflection I think I allowed judgement to interfere with what I actually wanted to eat and what my body really needed and wanted.
Up until now in recovery I have been trying to respond to what my body is asking for, which has largely been sugary foods, bread, dairy foods, foods higher in essential fats and highly processed foods…
Strangely enough(!) in this early recovery stage my body has not been craving vegetables and what the world might consider ‘healthy’ options.
However, yesterday, madness or an eating disordered thought pattern took over and I decided to have this for my lunch, convincing myself that this was what my recovering body really wanted.
Did my body really want this?? I think most likely not.
My body has had a fill of vegetables and lentils and other ‘healthier’ food products during the eating disorder years – it now wants foods it can get instant energy from, that will help it start to make essential repairs, and be able to send proper fuel to my brain too!
Blocking out my body’s true signals at lunchtime yesterday is also I am now sure one of the reasons why later yesterday I experienced a lot more hunger than I normally do. .
Sure, the meal might have had the equivalent ‘calorie’ value to other foods I might have had, but it evidently did not have the actual types of nutrients my body wants at this point of crucial repairing.
Therefore, my later strong cravings yesterday for bread items and sweet foods were almost certainly due to my having over-ridden and ignored my body’s actual lunch-time requirement message, applying my own judgements instead.
Today, I am learning from yesterday.
My body says it wants pizza today and cream cakes and so that is what I will give it – no more questions asked: I will listen and not judge and I will respond!