Eating Disorder Recovery Other ED Behaviours

Food That Is Less Than Perfect!

A Post Originally Written For Instagram Towards The Start Of My Recovery:

A new flavour of Cadbury chocolate out at the moment in the UK.

I’m a big fan of chocolate and Cadbury’s and I also enjoy a latte so when I saw this flavour I was quite excited to try it, expecting it to become a firm favourite!

I picked up a bar a day or two ago and yet to my disappointment it was good but on my recognised scale of chocolate rating:
Ok – Good – Excellent and OMG! 
I think I’d score it between ok and good.

When I was still deeper in this eating disorder, having a chocolate bar that was not to the OMG level would have felt devastating!

When we are restricting our intake to such an extent, any morsel of food that passes our lips becomes as precious (or more so) as the Crown Jewels.
To have food that is just average to experience hits a level of disappointment that to the rest of the world would seem way out of proportion!

Of course, the starved brain also perceives there to be a lack of available resources in the environment so food could never be wasted and although rationally one could just buy a better chocolate bar, an ED brain will be reluctant to do this until the mediocre bar is eaten.

So, when I was sicker this chocolate experience would have been beyond disappointing!

I noted with relief this week then that the fact this bar was just ok did not cause me the same level of disappointment. 
I still ate it all but knowing that I could eat much more chocolate whenever I want it and so each experience does not have to be OMG good!

Little marks of progress can be found in different places 😃

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