This pizza was part of lunch yesterday…
Yes, yesterday I ate the whole pizza and felt confident and not overly anxious about doing so.
I did not compensate before or after.
Could I have done this two weeks ago, let alone two months ago ??
This marks progress for me and I feel it’s a new stage in my recovery journey in which I feel ready to push myself forward a bit harder and faster.
However, to get to this stage, the previous weeks in which I contemplated pizza, re-introduced eating pizza at all & eating half a pizza etc were definitely necessary- as much as I would have loved to be able to jump ‘all in’ from day one!
I am posting this not because I want to validate my recovery and I do not want anyone to negatively compare their recovery to mine…
I am partially posting this as a celebration of a small victory yesterday over the eating disorder but mostly to remind us all…
Recovery is a step by step, often slow and frequently painful journey.
Every person who conquers a full pizza or full burger and fries meal (or whatever else it might be you see on Instagram) most likely took time and persistent efforts to reach the point in which they could do that.
Perhaps some do manage to go ‘all in’ eating fear foods in larger quantities from early on in recovery but for many it is a more gradual process and that is ok – it is the progress that matters – not the speed! .
It is making sure the progress made is sustainable and can be built on that is important.
When challenging new foods it might be you jump in head first or you might find that eating a portion of it to start with is a good first step to initially show the brain the food does not hurt you….
Later eating a bigger amount until eventually you can eat it in the quantity you want, whenever you want (and of course without compensating!!)…
Recovery does feel like a forwards and backwards dance but make sure you find and recognise the progress you are making on your road and celebrate any victory big or small – not compared to anyone else but from where YOU started, are now and where you want to go!