I’ll do recovery when…
There are many thought patterns we all fall into the pits of with an eating disorder… ways that the ED will keep us stuck and hold us prisoner.
One of these, I noticed I was sliding into this morning.
The good old – if this perfect set of circumstances were to fall into place, then ‘doing recovery’ would be so much easier…
if it wasn’t for x,y or z happening or because of such and such else then I could breeze through this recovery so happily!
Oh, hello eating disorder & your bulls**t mind tricks…!
The ED brain will find any reason, no matter how tiny, for why recovery should wait or for why we should not push ourselves too hard today.
And for years, these thought patterns kept me trapped.
I would delay recovery for whatever it was to happen or a set of circumstances to fall into place but when it did, naturally the eating disorder had another reason why I had to hold back.
Let’s be honest – I might think the perfect recovery situation would be George Clooney whisking me away to his Italian Villa & feeding me, while I gazed between his eyes & the stunning horizon…
The reality – even George Clooney, in all his gorgeousness coming at me with a 14 inch pizza might get it thrown back at him!
And, this is because an eating disorder is real.
The fear from an eating disorder is real.
Recovery is shit & hard regardless of where we are or our situation.
But life is short and we cannot afford to keep delaying.
The longer an eating disorder stays with us, the more & more ingrained it gets & the more it takes from our life.
Delaying tactics like this are the eating disorder and they are fear generated. The only way through the fear is facing it.
I know many of you reading this have far from perfect circumstances that are less than conducive to recovery but don’t let them make you delay any longer.
Pick up on these automatic thought patterns and call ED BS on them!
If we want recovery & not in 10 years but much much sooner, then we have to do the recovery work with the life cards we have and perhaps the tougher this part is, the more resilient we will be in our recovery!