Hold On

With this eating disorder and in recovery there are so many times I have wanted to give up… When the illness felt too much to keep living with, the process of recovery too hard and too impossible and the hope of anything different felt out of reach.

But somehow I held on.

Despite some very dark times, I kept a glimmer of, perhaps not even hope, but maybe just curiosity of whether things could be better.

Whether the day I could be free of ED’s chains could ever come.

The vision of a recovered life, no matter how impossible it has often felt, is something I have clung to.

And now I am glad I did.

I am not out the woods yet… there are still dark days but now I actually have much more faith I can recover and if I can then I know anyone can.

Now when the times still occasionally come when I feel like giving up, I remember why I didn’t give up before and that I was glad… and I hold on again.

So please, if you are reading this and losing hope, keep holding on… x