So today in the UK it certainly feels like autumn has set in and summer is well and truly behind us.
For years now I’ve always dreaded this time of year when the seasons change and the weather turns much colder.
Yet before my eating disorder I enjoyed winter as much as summer and being able to wrap up against cold days or snuggle indoors next to a warm fire….
If anyone has ever had an eating disorder though then you will know that the cold we experience is a cold sensation that is indescribable.
When the body is malnourished and starved, the metabolism is struggling to keep even a basic survival mode going and the body finds it nearly impossible to keep us warm. Any degree of cold in the environment and it can be a form of torture.
The level of coldness we experience is a cold that is bone deep… wearing layer upon layer of clothing or cuddling a hot radiator can make very little difference.
Hands and feet feel like ice and it’s such a miserable way to live.
Happily for me, since starting recovery and eating good amounts, my metabolism now is in a happy place and my body is warm or hot most of the time. Actually it’s fair to say that I’m probably experiencing metabolism overdrive and hotter than most these days!
Today I noticed the change in temperature outside and I feel a slight chill on my skin but deep in my bones I am still warm.
So, this year I do not dread the winter like I have because this year I know my body can tolerate it and I can stay warm and snuggled and safe.
This year I will not dread winter but I will look forward once again to the good things that winter can bring.
Days next to a toasty fire with hot chocolate and other good warming foods… and crisp cold days where wrapping up in a nice thick coat is enough to keep me warm and protected so I can appreciate the world without physical pain.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder at the moment and still feeling much colder than you should be then get eating and let your body feel warm and safe too!